Christian Wedding

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BEFORE THE WEDDING

Saint Monica and Saint Augustine

According to the BBC: “Before the ceremony, there are several things the couple must do. Firstly, they must arrange to have their banns (a public announcement of a forthcoming marriage) read out on three Sundays during the three months before the wedding. They must be read out in the parishes of both people. If the banns cannot be read out for any reason, a special licence can be issued by the bishop of the diocese. [Source: BBC |::|]

“Secondly, the couple must speak to the priest about hymns and prayers they may want on the day. Many couples want to include extra touches, such as flower arrangements or musicians. Some churches offer marriage preparation, where the priest will discuss subjects such as money, conflict, communication and sex. This throws up possible problems which the couple may come across during their marriage, and helps suggest ideas for handling them. |::|

Among Catholics:“Before a marriage takes place, a couple must spend time with the priest to talk about the sanctity of marriage and their role within the church in preparation for their life together. Questions concerning family and children, money issues, lifestyle choices and religion will be asked. “These marriage preparations are known as pre-Cana. It is an educational and maturing process for married life. Pre-Cana can take place over six months or an intensive weekend course and is mandatory for Catholics wishing to get married. |::|

“Whilst a couple is engaged but not yet married, they are expected to refrain from sexual activity: "They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love". This is because the Church teaches that sex is part of the procreation process and should only happen within the right framework, which is marriage.” |::|

Websites and Resources on Christianity BBC on Christianity bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity ;Christian Answers christiananswers.net ; Christian Classics Ethereal Library www.ccel.org ; Sacred Texts website sacred-texts.com ; Internet Sourcebook sourcebooks.fordham.edu ; Christian Denominations: Holy See w2.vatican.va ; Catholic Online catholic.org ; Catholic Encyclopedia newadvent.org ; World Council of Churches, main world body for mainline Protestant churches oikoumene.org BBC on Baptists bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity ; BBC on Methodists bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity ; ; Orthodox Church in America oca.org/saints/lives ; Online Orthodox Catechism published by the Russian Orthodox Church orthodoxeurope.org

Most Christian weddings are held in a church and are generally not held during Holy Week. They can vary from expensive elaborate affairs to simple ceremonies and usually what defines a wedding is not tradition or custom but what the wedding parties want and how much they are willing to spend. Western weddings are often preceded the night before by a rehearsal followed by a dinner in which the family of groom pays. The family of the bride typically pays for the wedding.

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Catholic wedding
Catholic wedding ceremonies are presided over by priests. Protestant ones are presided over by ministers. Brides promise to obey their husbands although the word obey is often omitted. The wedding vow is sealed when the bride and groom each say “I do.” The life-long commitment is expressed by the words “until death do us part.”

According to the BBC: “There are two types of Catholic marriage ceremony. One is with Mass and celebrates the Eucharist, which lasts for about an hour. The other is without Mass and only takes about 20 minutes. In a wedding without Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist is missed out. [Source: BBC |::|]

“The ceremony including Mass is as follows: 1) Entrance rite: there is a procession, which may include a hymn. The priest greets the congregation then the Penitential rite and opening prayers are said. 2) Liturgy of the Word: Bible readings, one from the Old Testament, a responsorial psalm, a New Testament reading, a Gospel acclamation, a Gospel reading and a homily (a practical sermon, not a theological one) 3) The rite of marriage: questions are asked about the couples' faithfulness to one another and their willingness to bring up children. Then the vows are made and the rings are exchanged. 4) Liturgy of the Eucharist: gifts are presented and the altar is prepared. Then the Eucharist prayer is said. Then the following are sung: Sanctus Sanctus, Memorial acclamation and Great Amen. 5) Communion rite: The Lord's Prayer is said which is followed by a nuptial blessing. Then follows the Sign of Peace, Agnus Dei and Communion Hymn (sung). 6) Concluding rite: The final blessing is made, there is a dismissal and the couple kiss. There is a recessional hymn which accompanies everyone out of the church." |::|

Wedding Ceremony

“The ceremony itself has a fairly uniform order: 1) Beginning the service: the priest welcomes the congregation and then reads out what Christians believe in marriage. 2) Declarations: the couple make their promises in front of God that they will love, comfort, honour and protect their partner as long as they both shall live. 3) Vows: The couple then make their vows to one another. |::|

Vows: “to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part” |::|

Traditional "I Do" Vows: “[Groom’s name], do you take [Bride’s name] to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?” — I do. — [Bride’s name], do you take [Groom’s name] to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live? — I do.

Rings: The couple exchange rings and say:
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit. |::|

4) Proclamation: the priest tells the couple that they are now husband and wife. 5) Prayers: prayers are said for the couple. They may include a prayer for the gift of children, but this is optional.
Readings and sermon: there will be some readings from the Bible and the minister gives a sermon. 6) Signing of the register: the bride and groom, along with two witnesses, sign the register, which is a legal requirement. They receive a legally binding marriage certificate.

Christian Wedding Traditions

Bridal veils and white wedding dresses date back to ancient times. White has traditionally been the color for brides because white has been the traditional symbol of purity and sexual innocence. White is linked with a number of Christian rituals. It is worn at christening, first Communions, confirmation and finally as a funeral shroud. In Biblical times wedding dresses were often blue because blue was the symbol of purity. Women who marry a second time after a divorce or death are encouraged to wear a colored dress.

Roman wedding

Many Roman wedding customs were adopted by early Christians and were passed down over the centuries and are still featured in modern weddings today. The custom of June wedding is linked to Juno, the goddess of marriage and childbirth, after which the month of June is named. The expression "tying the knot" dates back to Roman times when the bride wore a girdle secured by a knot and the groom untied it.

A Roman man received the "the hand" of his bride as a symbol of her innermost self and the touching of hands symbolized the union of hearts. Roman wedding dresses were usually yellow.

The tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold began with the Romans. The groom first went into the house to light the hearth while the bride smeared oil and grease around the doorway as a sign of good luck. To ensure that the bride wouldn't do anything like stumble, bringing bad luck to the house, she was carried into the house left foot first. The only difference between the way the Roman's did it and the way we do it today is that slaves carried her into the house not her husband.**

The idea of a honeymoon evolved in early Christian Scandinavia, where brides were often kidnapped and the grooms took them to a far away place until the bride's family gave up their search for them. The term honeymoon is derived from the drinking of honey wine called mead.

The bride walks down the aisle to the “Bridal Chorus” from Richard Wagner's 1849 opera “Lohengrin”. The couples walks out to the “Wedding March” from Felix' Mendelssohn's 1826 “A Midsummer Night's Dream”. The custom dates back to 1858, when these musical pieces were played at the royal wedding of Victoria, the daughter of Queen Victoria of England, and Prince Frederick William of Prussia. The bride, who loved Wagner and Mendelssohn, picked the music herself.

Christian Wedding Rings, Stag Parties and Bridal Showers

Although Egyptians may have worn wedding rings, Greeks came up with idea of the ring finger and Romans popularized the custom of wearing a wedding ring. At Roman weddings, rings were placed on a finger on the bride’s left hand. There is some debate as to whether the ring was placed on the middle finger or the ring finger. In any case Romans believed a nerve ran from that finger to the heart.

The historian Aulus Gelliu explained: "When the human body is cut open as the Egyptians did and when dissections...are practiced on it, a very delicate nerve is found which starts from the finger and travels to the heart. It is therefore, thought seemingly to give to this finger in preference to all others the honor of the ring, on account of the loose connection which links it with the principal organ."

Roman wedding ring

Gold wedding rings were highly prized by the Romans. One Christian chronicler wrote in the 2nd century A.D. wrote: "most women know nothing of gold except the single marriage ring placed on one finger." Many Roman women wore gold rings in public and iron ones at home. Diamond wedding rings appeared in Rome in A.D. the 3rd century. Engagements were sealed with an iron ring.

The world's first known stag parties were held by the Spartans. The night before his wedding day a Spartan grooms was given a feast by his friends and comrades the night. There was no doubt sing, drinking and lewd jokes. The ritual marked the end of bachelorhood and was seen as a promise by the groom to his comrades he would remain loyal to them and not leave them.

While stag parties date back t the Spartans the term "bridal shower" is relatively new. It was first used in the 1890s. It was a party held for newly engaged fiend in which the bride to be stood in the middle of a room while a Japanese paper parasol was turned upside down and gifts poured out.

Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons

Text Sources: Internet Sourcebook sourcebooks.fordham.edu ; “World Religions” edited by Geoffrey Parrinder (Facts on File); “ Encyclopedia of the World’s Religions” edited by R.C. Zaehner (Barnes & Noble Books, 1959); King James Version of the Bible, gutenberg.org; New International Version (NIV) of The Bible, biblegateway.com; Christian Classics Ethereal Library (CCEL) ccel.org , Frontline, PBS, Wikipedia, BBC, National Geographic, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, The New Yorker, Time, Encyclopedia.com, Reuters, Associated Press, Business Insider, AFP, Library of Congress, Lonely Planet Guides, Compton’s Encyclopedia and various books and other publications.

Last updated March 2024